Dwarf Fortress Stories
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My game

18 June 2012, 09:50 Rating: 11 [+]

This is how my games go:

You have struck Lignite!

OMG WHERE

You have struck Orthoclase!

OH SHIT SON

You have struck Moonstone!

SHOW ME NOW

You have struck Amethyst!

Okay come on

You have struck Schist!

Yaaaay

You have struck Granite!

Cool man

You have struck Mica!

Oka-

You have struck Chalk!

...

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Tags: quotes

Gentlemen, we can rebuild him, we have the technology

18 June 2012, 09:41 Rating: 175 [+]

I love how astoundingly broken the medical system can get when you have a legendary team.
It started when a forgotten beats melted one of my best soldiers, Mafol Kubuktathur, was melted with diseased blood. Every single body part was red.
The medical dwarves began their grisly works. The diagnosis was over almost instantly, and the surgeon began to remove what appeared to be all of the flesh. The infection had left it in such a state that it was all taken off. After that, bones were set. There were other injured dwarves, but none quite as severe as this one, so the process took about two months. The wounds over her entire body, from the surgery and the original battle were all sealed by adamantine thread and bandage. Another month spent recovering, with more wound dressing and suturing every other day, and she got out of bed. What at the time must have been little more than an adamantine suit with a pool of organ mush inside of it, stood up, and armed itself with the adamantine sword it used when it was still a dwarf, and straight away went back to the training room.

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Eat.Sleep. Kill elves.

11 June 2012, 14:11 Rating: 9 [+]
Tags: pictures

Fortress saved by the crazy elf

10 June 2012, 21:47 Rating: 3 [+]

My first fortress (that I didn't immediately let succumb to wolves or oceanic flood) was beautiful, lovely geometric bedrooms, and a z-level just for making microcline thrones (so much microcline!). I didn't really understand the trade system (just stole everything off those sucker humans), didn't really understand the military (only marksdwarves, no bolt production), but I'll be damned if everyone didn't have their own personal luxurious throne.
So the humans eventually retaliated with a siege, and all I know how to do is sit there with 10 untrained dwarves waving unloaded crossbows at 20 men with cheetahs across my pathetic bridge defense.

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The Purging of Shieldfrenzy

10 June 2012, 10:06 Rating: 12 [+]

Big Trouble in Little Innsmouth. Or, Urist McTheyCalledMeMad cancels Masterwork Dwarf Fortress: Goes mad from the revelation.
"These large terrifying creatures resemble a hideous mixture of dwarf and carp. Inbreeding and vile sorcery transforms everyone who joins their cult to these amphibious monsters. According to legend these ugly beasts were first seen in the fortress of Innsmouth long ago. Their only reason to live is to destroy the work of Armok and recruit more members to their cult. If you are reading this it is already too late... your fortress is not safe anymore. A cult leader made it his home and is undermining your authority. Pray to Armok for salvation..."

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How I feel about trading

09 June 2012, 09:05 Rating: 8 [+]

Tags: pictures

A Lesson in Murder !FUN!

09 June 2012, 08:44 Rating: 9 [+]

Tags: pictures

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