Dwarf Fortress Stories
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Thorig Ashcun and his faithful dogs

18 June 2012, 19:17 Rating: 9 [+]

Thorig Ashcun was a young hunter eager to prove his worth to the fortress and bring home a meal. Armed with his crossbow and his two trusty hunting dogs he traveled into the wilderness. Young Thorig forgot to bring his bolts. He was attacked a wolf by bashing it with his crossbow. Needless to say that did not go well and his left eye was gouged out and his right leg was hurt. His hunting dogs managed to save him. He was carried to his bed were he lapsed into a coma for a whole year. His dogs never left his side. When Thorig finally awoke, he picked up his crossbow (and bolts) and decided to go hunt. He chased a wolf across the map and when he finally cornered the wolf, it turned on him and mauled him. His two hunting dogs managed to save his life. Yet again he went into a come for 4 years. His dogs never left his side. When Thorig came back I stuck him to fishing duty to prevent any more accidents. Thorig occasionally fainted randomly ( I don't know why). One day when he was fishing a goblin siege came. Thorig fainted. His hunting dogs protected him from a squad of goblins long enough for Thorig to awake and flee into the fortress. This was the last time the dogs could save Thorig. They were both slaughtered by the goblin horde. Thorig never left the fortress again.

Amost Fathtoral

18 June 2012, 19:05 Rating: 6 [+]

I was sieged by several squads of goblins including some marksgoblins. But because I had so many champions I figured it would be no problem so I sent my guys out. Only too late did I realize that everyone except for axelord Amost Fathtoral were sleeping or partying. So Amost Fathtoral did the only logical thing, he went out to face the hordes alone. As he approaches the horde both his lungs are immediately pierced by a crossbow bolt. But this doesn't stop him, he charges their ranks and cuts down goblins by the dozen.

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On Eral Azikirit's life and death

18 June 2012, 18:51 Rating: 3 [+]

Eral Azikirit was the star soldier of Kuletsedil's swordsdwarf division. Single-handedly fighting off entire sieges and crushing kobolds with her bare hands. Once, while she filled her waterskin, she strangled an attacking carp to death with no injuries. Legendary in military, crafting, and social stats, she sped through the fortress with confidence and visible power.

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Fikod Olinatast

18 June 2012, 18:34 Rating: 4 [+]

The son of a miner, Fikod had a hard life. Fikod lost his father to Fire Imps at a young age, grew with the fortess and tried to fit in as best he could. He endured the three great fires of 204-205 that incinerated the surrounding woodland, the famines of 208-209, drought, and countless goblin seiges, as well as deadly carp. After the Great Carp Massacre of 210 the fortress entered a state of unrest.

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Lazy ass dwarf....

18 June 2012, 12:31 Rating: 20 [+]

Broker has no job.
Broker has no job.
Broker has no job.
An Elven Caravan has arrived.
Broker Requested at Depot.
Broker goes on break.
The filthy elf merchants will be leaving soon.
Broker eats lunch and has a beer.
The filth elf merchants are on their way out.
Broker no longer required at depot.
Broker has no job.

Simple task

18 June 2012, 12:27 Rating: 7 [+]

I tell my dorf: "Hey, go put that harmless unarmed GOBLIN into the pit".
Dorf says: "Right you are sir. One GOBLIN in a pit coming right up."
Opens cage.
"HOLY SHIT A NAKED GOBLIN!?! I COULD NEVER HAVE PREDICTED THIS!! LEG IT!!"
Dorf runs off like a fucking idiot, leaving the Goblin to wander aimlessly around the fortress, until it either runs into one of my war hounds or falls into one of my cage traps and is caught again.
Rinse, repeat.

Tags: quotes

Tantrum spiral

18 June 2012, 12:21 Rating: 1 [+]

I embarked on a volcano in the middle of one of my seas, pretty cool location, magma stack 20 z-level vertical cliffs surrounding a cove on the beach, with crazy steep hills to the top of the volcano. Cave system is equally steep and cramped, just huge pits for the most part. Since it is an island theres been no ambushes/sieges, and only the occasional forgotten beast. Traders would arrive in the late autumn when the bay would freeze over. Its been a pretty peaceful fort, until recently that is. I decided that i was going to build an obsidian lighthouse/tomb off the beach of my fort. Complete with a burning pile of lignite objects at the top floor to be a beacon.

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