Dwarf Fortress Stories

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Little tale

19 June 2012, 18:18 Rating: 4 [+]

A Forest Titan attacked my fort and my squad of Axedorfs fought back and forth with the bastard for a month trying to bring him down. The only loss was the right arm of one guy when the Titan clamped his jaws down on it and ripped it off. He trailed blood all the way back to the Fort after the battle was over, but instead of going to the hospital to get patched up, he went straight back down to the barracks and started training to use his axe in his other hand.
Thinking he had a fucked up sense of priorities I kicked him out of the military so he would quit training and go see the doctor. All he did after he was discharged was grab a drink and hang out in the mess hall. I checked him out carefully and saw that he'd stopped bleeding naturally, was as happy as he'd ever been and had "suffered minor injuries lately". Dude got his fucking arm ripped off by a giant snake, fought with his offhand for half of a month killing said snake, and just shrugged it off and went back training as soon as the battle was over. I promoted him to Baron.

Hidden Fun Staff

19 June 2012, 17:42 Rating: 1 [+]

The very first time I found Hidden Fun Staff (HFS), I ended up digging into the very bottom of the pit. You know what came out after me? A Demon Lord. Not Toads, not Tentacle Rape (that came later though), nor a few Spirits of Fire. Just a single Demon Lord. He then ascended my giant elaborate ramp staircase, and despite my best efforts, proceeded to open up a can of whoop ass on my entire fort. In the very first moments of battle, he struck down 5 dwarves including my leader. He then proceeded to go on a rampage throughout the warehouse/stockpile district of the fort, setting people on fire, and in total killing over 40 dwarves.

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Origin of the bone crossbow

19 June 2012, 17:13 Rating: 23 [+]

I drafted two dorfs into the army, pretty standard procedure. Decided to have them spar with each other so they wouldn't suck in an actual fight. Now, I was pretty new to the game at the time, so I didn't realize that my dwarves had both picked up iron spears instead of wooden weapons. The result, of course, is that one of them was mortally wounded.
The wounded dwarf was taken to a bed, but he was in pretty bad shape so I figured he would probably just die or something eventually. For several months he lay in that same bed bleeding to death, but he just clung on. Then, one day, he miraculously got up.

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Go in peace, thief

19 June 2012, 12:44 Rating: 59 [+]

Tags: pictures

Epic dwarf Mokum "Wolfslayer" Lokuthum

19 June 2012, 12:33 Rating: 6 [+]

The most epic dwarf I have ever seen was, no doubt, the young Mokum "Wolfslayer" Lokuthum. He was, by large, an useless dwarf in the beginning. He was fighting with everyone, holding parties when he should have worked and honestly somehow avoiding all work he could. He was, to put it into words, a no-good half-beard.

At first, he was simply ignored, the other dwarves of the Founding Seven too busy to pay attention to him. The food stores were low, alcohol was needed and furniture was seriously lacking behind. But after few too many fingers and naps during worktime, the expedition leader took the matter into his hands.

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The story of Mansacks, the cursed crater.

19 June 2012, 12:18 Rating: 6 [+]

The site my Dwarves embarked to looked pretty good. Lots of wood, a river, and a dozen-or-so tiles from it a lava pool surrounded on three sides by a collar of clay cliffs. At first I was worried about stone, but after digging into the cliffs I quickly found layers of microcline and granite. I carved a 3-square entrance tunnel into the cliff, ending with a common area dug exclusively in microcline. In the same area I placed a trade depot made entirely out of microcline. I called this place the azure chamber. My dwarves were carrying food inside one of the newly-dug rooms when they came.

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Mr. and Mrs. Urist

19 June 2012, 12:08 Rating: 3 [+]

I had a pair of legendary miners who became dwarf and wife. Unfortunately, these two miners were my only source of military defense throughout the many perils of the first years. As a team they slew ten goblins, and drove off ambushes which had annihilated trade merchants and their guards. Then one day I sent them to the surface, Mrs. Urist brought her infant son to show him the ways of the surface world. The goblins were many that day and no doubt they were emboldened by having just smashed a caravan to splinters. Mrs. Urist charged into battle, holding her son up so that he could get a good view (and not get so much gore on him).

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