Dwarf Fortress Stories
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Killed by own hand (made by Tim Denee)

21 June 2012, 07:18 Rating: 21 [+]

Superior chert statue

21 June 2012, 07:09 Rating: 5 [+]

Tags: pictures

Silent Hill Fortress

21 June 2012, 06:51 Rating: 15 [+]

I tried starting a fort in a Sinister swamp the other night. There were some zombie echidnas or some stupid creatures there, but nothing much else. "Great, — I thought. — a relatively safe start should give me enough time to establish a fort capable of holding its own in this scary bog."
Then an evil cloud showed up. It hung out on the edge of the map for a second, then dissipated. False alarm! I went back to working on my defenses wait a minute where's my miner.
One of my miners was gone. No corpse, no corresponding ex-dwarf monster. Just vanished from existence, and listed under Missing with no explanation I even checked the unit list, but nothing was threatening my fort except for a couple of little undead rodents, neither of which seemed to have been involved in combat.

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The forces of darkness arrived

20 June 2012, 05:16 Rating: 0 [+]

So last night, my fort was in the middle of building a grand sewer system to provide water for all living areas, hospitals, and random pit stops in the caverns. All wells were at least 2 z levels deep, cisterns were fuckhueg reservoirs, all the water came from a river up at ground level to protect against random swimming evil baddies crawling into my shit.
Then the forces of darkness arrived.
A force of goblins and trolls, hell-bent on slaughtering my fortress to a man. They went after my under-construction "main" halls first, rampaging through the corridors, beating down my miners and random peasants. The miners gave as good as they got with their picks, felling trolls and goblin alike, but without actual armor they fell eventually, as did the rest of the dwarves panicking like mad within the cluttered darkness of the gigantic stone halls.

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Little tale

19 June 2012, 18:18 Rating: 3 [+]

A Forest Titan attacked my fort and my squad of Axedorfs fought back and forth with the bastard for a month trying to bring him down. The only loss was the right arm of one guy when the Titan clamped his jaws down on it and ripped it off. He trailed blood all the way back to the Fort after the battle was over, but instead of going to the hospital to get patched up, he went straight back down to the barracks and started training to use his axe in his other hand.
Thinking he had a fucked up sense of priorities I kicked him out of the military so he would quit training and go see the doctor. All he did after he was discharged was grab a drink and hang out in the mess hall. I checked him out carefully and saw that he'd stopped bleeding naturally, was as happy as he'd ever been and had "suffered minor injuries lately". Dude got his fucking arm ripped off by a giant snake, fought with his offhand for half of a month killing said snake, and just shrugged it off and went back training as soon as the battle was over. I promoted him to Baron.

Hidden Fun Staff

19 June 2012, 17:42 Rating: 0 [+]

The very first time I found Hidden Fun Staff (HFS), I ended up digging into the very bottom of the pit. You know what came out after me? A Demon Lord. Not Toads, not Tentacle Rape (that came later though), nor a few Spirits of Fire. Just a single Demon Lord. He then ascended my giant elaborate ramp staircase, and despite my best efforts, proceeded to open up a can of whoop ass on my entire fort. In the very first moments of battle, he struck down 5 dwarves including my leader. He then proceeded to go on a rampage throughout the warehouse/stockpile district of the fort, setting people on fire, and in total killing over 40 dwarves.

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Origin of the bone crossbow

19 June 2012, 17:13 Rating: 21 [+]

I drafted two dorfs into the army, pretty standard procedure. Decided to have them spar with each other so they wouldn't suck in an actual fight. Now, I was pretty new to the game at the time, so I didn't realize that my dwarves had both picked up iron spears instead of wooden weapons. The result, of course, is that one of them was mortally wounded.
The wounded dwarf was taken to a bed, but he was in pretty bad shape so I figured he would probably just die or something eventually. For several months he lay in that same bed bleeding to death, but he just clung on. Then, one day, he miraculously got up.

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