Dwarf Fortress Stories

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Hammerer and his wife

26 June 2012, 12:11 Rating: 2 [+]

I had a woodburner get sucked dry in the middle of the dining room in front of 4 children and a bowyer. The culprit was immediately identified as the presser Tun Bardumish. However, due to metal scarcity, the fortress hammerer (who came to the fortress with 11 dwarven kills and "Professional Hammerdwarf", no less!) had to simply bitch-slap him severely. He broke his nose and an arm, but has caused no trouble since. Ahem.
When the above mentioned hammerer was killed in a goblin ambush along with his son and brother-in-law, his wife went a bit loopy. She just beat the shit out of a boar with her crutch, knocked a hoof off it and flung it at the intervening guards.

Dwarf Fortress Report

26 June 2012, 12:02 Rating: 5 [+]

For years now, the goblins have been sending raiding parties and thieves to test the defenses of Portalwatch. Then, in the spring of 256, they sent a siege! A small army of 20 goblins approached from the East, met a hail of crossbow bolts, and ran away. Portalwatch thought it was safe.
That was a test, too.
In the Fall of that year, a larger army appeared. This vile force of darkness numbered in the 30s, and included trolls! They surrounded Portalwatch and marched in from the North, East, and Southwest. Thinking to make off with extra goods, they attacked just as a caravan from the nearby Dwarven nation was rolling in.

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Dwarf Fortress appear in dreams.

26 June 2012, 11:25 Rating: 4 [+]

Player waking up in his bed after dreaming of finding magma.

Tags: pictures

You've beaten me, Dwarf Fortress

26 June 2012, 10:32 Rating: 3 [+]

I embarked on a border between a Wilderness and Haunted biomes. I get about 15 minutes of carving out an initial space and stockpiling everything, when a herd of zombie elks arrive and begin killing my dwarves — including my military dwarf. My mason goes down shortly after, and I didn't have doors built yet, so the elks took out my entire fort. After laughing about this — I've never lost a fort that quickly ever before, especially not in a pretty mild territory — I put together a second squad of 3 military dwarves and 4 peons and attempt to reclaim.

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Piece of fun

26 June 2012, 09:06 Rating: 2 [+]

I was rocking along with a fairly successful fortress in a untamed wilds tropical forest, the most advanced I've ever achieved. One hundred a fifty dwarfs (about a third of them kids), indoor plumbing, huge stocks of supplies, a ring of traps to catch snatchers - not a lot of metal equipment or serious defenses but my twenty or so militia had been able to handle everything up to light goblin sieges and wandering minotaur without breaking a sweat up to this point.
This point is when one hundred and twenty walking dead under the command of five necromancers (mixed races - nice to see them breaking traditional boundaries) arrive over the hill. I believe it was one hundred and twenty, it was hard to tell once the goblin army showed up too. And what with all my butchered goose bones rising from the refuse pit to join in, exact counts became difficult.

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God Hates Elves

23 June 2012, 13:49 Rating: 10 [+]
Tags: pictures


22 June 2012, 10:08 Rating: 29 [+]

Goddamn. Note to self: embarking in Joyous Wilds with an aquifer, near a necromancer tower... this was a Bad Idea. Met a pretty cool fellow who called himself Bembul though.
It was the first migration wave to Fort Gearedvirgins, I was checking the four new migrants to see what their skills were like. One of them was a dwarf named Bembul, a Great Miller with super high Lying and Persuading skills. Weird. I checked his bio... quite a vagrant! Dude was from a LOT of places. Suspicious! Sure enough, within a few weeks of his arrival, a drained corpse showed up. Bembul was the only witness! He blamed a Dyer. Nice try, Bembul. Guess who just volunteered himself to go greet the 124 Giant Mosquitoes that were swarming on the other side of the river?

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