Dwarf Fortress Stories

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Find the dragon, kill the dragon, eat the dragon

16 July 2012, 06:23 Rating: 4 [+]

Tequil Isundopod Joricusic Lega aka Tequil Basicpractices the Dispersed Executioner of Parity was a badass human who was born in 92 and was given to killing everything everywhere with his mace.

Kima Warmthhot the Luxury of Gems was a female dragon who killed One Hundred fourteen luckless souls and was some kind of dragon tramp because she had a shitload of kids but had no idea who their daddy was.

Tequil received the quest to track down and end the dragons reign of terror so he began to assemble his crack team of sacrificial lambs warriors.

Once everyone was geared up, they made the two day journey to the brand of sizzling which was the dragons lair. As they made their way down the ramp the band of warriors failed to notice that Tequil had begun to sneak and was falling back to the rear of the pack.

Kima immediately killed three warriors with her dragon breath. Tequil took this opportunity to smash her in the upper body with his bronze mace shattering her body and knocking her unconscious. He then spent the next five minutes (seriously, five loving minutes of selecting every part of the dragons body to bash) furiously bashing at the hulking dragon. Teeth, blood, and various dragon parts flew everywhere and began to stack up on the floor of the lair.

Kima would awake, only to quickly pass back out again from the overwhelming pain of her ruined body. Tequil then spent a few minutes practicing strangleholds on her before she finally lost the will to continue on and suffocated in her own blood.

Tequil levered himself up on his arms (his ability to walk had been lost a few months before while fighting a band of crossbow equipped goblins) and admired the days bloody work.

He pulled a well used bronze arrow from his alpaca wool backpack and dropped it on the ground beside the fallen dragon. Wet and unspeakable sounds filled the cave as Tequil began his dark work.

Hours later it was complete. He wiped his drowsy brow and slowly licked the dragon blood off his "iron high boot". He reached over to the pile, took a prepared dragon eye, and popped it into his mouth. As he munched his mushy prize he thought, this, this is loving metal.