Dwarf Fortress Stories

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A few short vignettes of the life and times of the Hammerman Sahthet

29 June 2012, 10:06 Rating: 2 [+]

Sahthet Feleri Quihuconi Molu (Sathet Holdmagics the Sloppy Room of Burden) was born in 90 and raised in the hamlet of Anguishedbridge by the Society of Pigs, a member state of the Sunny Confederations. Near as I can tell he spent a good 36 years wanking and faffing about but in 126 he took up his silver war hammer and began to wander the wilds. And he was enormously successful at it (Read: I've been save scumming like crazy), ridding the world of more than 236 unsavory types.

  • Midway through his career, Sahthet enters the Sunny Confederation City of Troughcrafted to rest, recuperate, and trade after another bandit killing expedition. He finds the city crushed under the iron fist of the Lady Nese Armoryoungs, a 126 year old woman. After just a brief conversation with a local bone carver though it emerges that the Lady is none other than a Vampire, and has in the last 46 years fed on some 2800 poor souls of her city. The townsfolk convince Sahthet to rid the town of its tyrant. He decides to rest a night, and tackle the vampire in the early morning.

    Awaking at dawn, Sahthet makes his way to the keep at the centre of town. He enters the building in the pre-dawn darkness and while its occupants are still asleep. As he ascends the stairs of the keep he passes some 60 or more sleeping townsfolk, suspiciously spread through out the Ladys keep. At the top floor he finds the Lady, awake, and unsuspecting. She greets him, surprised and even delighted that the famed Sloppy Room of Burden has come to her keep. Sahthet engages her in idle discussion of the surrounding area as he closes the distance between them, until, as he stands right next to her, he reveals his knowledge of her dark secret, and lashes out at her with his hammer. The Vampire hisses at him and strikes back, and some of the many sleeping townsfolk around them awaken, revealing themselves as none other than wild-eyed and maddened cultists!

    Sahthet gamely engages both the vampire and her insane cultists at once, until he bests the vampire and strikes her in the centre of the forehead, crushing her brain. It does not take long for him to kill the ten or so cultists that the Vampire had awakened. He slings the vampires corpse up on to his back and descends the keep again finding the remaining cultists still asleep. In the gradually lightening haze he descends the keep, indiscriminately smashing the skulls of 50 sleeping cultists, before exiting the keep as the sun peeks finally over the walls, bloodsoaked and wide-eyed. Some of the merchants are already manning their stalls at the market outside the walls - Sahthet mutters to one of them that the vampire is dead and swiftly leaves town.

  • Tasked by the High Bewilderment of the Bronze Confederations with killing the Mountain Titan Ag Rocksmiled, Sahthet assembles a team of 20 men-at-arms and prepares for a journey of upwards of a week through the Hills of Warmth, along a narrow unsettled isthmus to Ag's mountain home, to the far north. They walk for an uneventful day to reach the Watchful hills where the party of excited soldiers set up camp for the night, expecting no trouble from Bogeymen or other Night Trolls. As the men settle in for sleep, however, a pack of 20 Giant Dingoes tears up out of the night and lay into them. Sahthet and his men fight for their lives but eventually it is just Sahthet and the dingoes. Sahthet dodges back and retreats, striking forward at the dingoes to pick them off one by one as he can. However, a particularly resounding strike leaves his hammer lodged in the skull of surprisingly resilient dingo, and while he struggles and twists to pull it out another of the giant beasts clamps down on his shield hand and bites it off from the lower arm. Sahthet fights through the pain and kills off the remaining dingoes one-armed, and is left surrounded by the corpses in the dark. Knowing more dingoes are likely on the way he resolves to drowsily travel by night back to town, along a road he can barely make out, while bleeding out of his stump. What follows is a frantic, night long dingo massacre as Sahthet is beset by several more packs of dingoes, giant dingoes, and Dingomen. He incredibly manages to avoid further injury through out the night and staggers back into town at dawn, once again bloodsoaked and wild-eyed under the rising sun.

  • Having aborted, for the time being, his attempts to go north through the unforgiving, dingo-infested wilderness, Sahthet the one-armed Hammerman wanders to the nearby city of Guardmartyred, finding it terrorized by the Warlord Mucka Elderdriven, leader of the citys preeminent criminal organization: the Feral Vegetation. Lelgo Tundrastraws, the cities Exalted Tax, asks that he kill the bandit Warlord and so once again Sahthet assembles a party of men to descend into Anguishmired, the catacombs where the bandits are said to hide. As they explore the winding passages, Sahthet comes across a room piled with hundreds of the skeletons of long dead peasants, the centre of which holds a black bronze sarcophagus. Sahthet, having had a rather troubling experience in a pyramid just a few weeks before and acutely aware of the ill portents of a room so tightly packed with corpses, backs quietly out of the room again and makes to explore other parts of the maze. But his over-zealous men pile in to investigate the room. Sahthet doubles his pace in the opposite direction, as the sound of a creaking sarcophagus, and then shouting and creaking bones echo down the halls after him.

    Sahthet continues exploring the catacombs, and some 10 minutes later, and deeper in the catacombs, the skeletal form of Thram Oilyplant, former High Prophet, looms out of the darkness and gestures, raising the various peasants from their graves around Sahthet. Alarmingly the corpse of the Vampire Nese Armoryoungs also animates, leaping out of Sahthets backpack to attack him once more. Sahthet clobbers the zombie vampire fatally in the skull for a second time in his life, stuffing the once more inanimate corpse back into his pack, and runs away from Thram, smacking the various peasant skeletons in their dusty skulls whenever the opportunity presents itself. He takes care, however, not to attack the Mummy, lest he be cursed with gently caress knows what sort of miserable weirdness.

    For the next while Sahthet runs frantically about the catacombs searching for the exit, slapping aside the undead as needed, as the Mummmy Thram periodically attacks and raises the dead. Sahthet is involved in a protracted game of whack-a-mole with the vampire zombie in his backpack. Having once more evaded the mummy Thram, he enters a great hall lined with pillars and walls that recede up into darkness. At the other end of the hall is a rose-gold door, and Sahthet crosses the hall to enter it. Opening the door he finds a long, low ceilinged room, lined with piles of loot and weapons, and chests and bags overflowing with crafts and jewels, and about 40 master bandits. He slaps aside the volley of some eight or so bolts and arrows that fly immediately at him and jumps back into the pillared hall, running for the door at the far end, but as he sprints past the pillars the far door explodes open with an army of the undead. Thram and the hundreds of raised corpses of peasants and Sahthets former party members pile in to the hall from one end and forty elite bandits rush into the room from the other. Sahthet wisely ducks behind a pillar. A bloody massacre erupts in the hall, and Sahthet fights his way out through the repeatedly reanimating gore until he emerges from the catacombs back in to the quiet calm of the Contested Sanctum. He staggers bloodsoaked out into the streets of Guardmatyred and declares "That's it. I retire"