Dwarf Fortress Stories

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22 June 2012, 10:08 Rating: 30 [+]

Goddamn. Note to self: embarking in Joyous Wilds with an aquifer, near a necromancer tower... this was a Bad Idea. Met a pretty cool fellow who called himself Bembul though.

It was the first migration wave to Fort Gearedvirgins, I was checking the four new migrants to see what their skills were like. One of them was a dwarf named Bembul, a Great Miller with super high Lying and Persuading skills. Weird. I checked his bio... quite a vagrant! Dude was from a LOT of places. Suspicious! Sure enough, within a few weeks of his arrival, a drained corpse showed up. Bembul was the only witness! He blamed a Dyer. Nice try, Bembul. Guess who just volunteered himself to go greet the 124 Giant Mosquitoes that were swarming on the other side of the river?

I figured this would be a convenient way to get rid of a likely vampire. Having no combat skills, he picked up some lovely bronze armor and went trucking off unarmed into the swarm. A couple "Martial Trance" messages later, I check to see if he's dead yet... and he's chasing the goddamned swarm right off the map. He lost his right arm and he's full of holes, but there he is merrily swatting the fuckers out of the sky and ripping them up with his one good arm. The swarm flees. A tribe of Thrips Men shows up to see what all this fuss is about and he obliterates them. Bembul then proceeds to chase a flock of Giant Magpies up the side of the mountain and tears their loving eyelids off one by one before kicking each one to death.

With no wildlife left alive anywhere in sight, a blood-soaked Bembul strolls back into town and immediately drains the Expedition Leader. The town elects him as the replacement leader. Fair enough... Bembul's got initiative. I built him a nice little house on the other side of the river, gave him a bronze sword and locked him in to train by himself. Some dwarves were still feeling Faint, but I figured it was just Bembul... until two more dwarves died while he was under house arrest. gently caress.

Seems that another of the first-wave migrants, a tanner, had just finished building a Yak Leather Artifact buckler and decided to celebrate by draining the Founder Chef to death right in the middle of the dining hall. There were nine witnesses pointing to her. Off to the vampire clubhouse! Gave her an iron mace and locked her in with Bembul. Another suspiciously well-traveled Mechanic showed up in next migration wave, so I issued him a whip and some leather armor and locked him into the vamphaus as well.

The second winter rolls along and the Dwarven outpost liason shows up with forty-three goddamned zombies chasing him. Oh boy! The whole fort's population is only about 38 right now and the only three soldiers are still locked away inside Camp Dracula. I order the main doors sealed and unlock the vampire house. The liason runs straight to it and gets torn to pieces by a gang of zombie elfs right in front of Bembul's desk.

Bembul doesn't seem too concerned about this. He and his two vampire roommates just sit there, chillin' with the zombies until I tell them to get off their asses and attack. They charge out the front door right into the bloodbath outside. Dozens of zombies are chasing the merchant caravan, horses are dragging trails of blood and guts everywhere, giant sparrows are swooping out of the sky at the zombies, and there's Bembul and his buddies just wrecking the poo poo out of everything.

When the doors finally reopen, Bembul is standing right there on top of a severed undead giant magpie head, surrounded by fallen zombie corpses. His partners have lost some limbs and they're Very Upset. The townsfolk head out to start throwing the bodies into the pit and clean up all the mess from the slaughtered caravan.

Something very bad happened next. 60+ mangled corpses and body parts and giant magpie heads and giant mosquito chitins suddenly all woke up again, all at once, while being dragged past the front gate. There was no time to close it. Fortress Gearedvirgins fell in seconds.

There was only one survivor. I'm sure you can guess who it was.

I abandoned the fort so I could look up Bembul in the world Legends.
He survived. He escaped. My vampire Expedition Leader's real name was Ingish Moralsaber the Cremated Berry. Before my town, he'd joined, fed upon, and fled from over a dozen other towns. He's now working his way across the mountains with a new group.

He has 1560+ kills to his name.