Dwarf Fortress Stories

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Nil Bastionhall against swarm of goblins

18 June 2012, 19:22 Rating: 29 [+]

Mine was a marginally successful fortress in it's early legs of life. It was still being crafted into a true home - much of the buildings were still temporary jobs. Things were running just as they would be as normal, until a vile force of darkness reared it's head over the far hill, in attempts to pluck some easy riches. This was an important occasion for two reasons. One, because it was one of the first that the fortress keeper had seen and second because the defensive wall was only half built.
The military scrambled to the half-finished defensive lines, loading bolts and drawing swords, when a message appear - Nil Bastionhall cancels return item - interrupted by goblin.

Now let me tell you something about Nil Bastionhall.

Bastionhall was one of the founding seven, the designated hunter. When he arrived, he picked up his iron crossbow, a quiver of bolts and left into the forest to provide food. With a fortress population of 88, and a two-year lifespan, he had no friends- his social interactions resulted in only six 'passing acquaintances'. It would seem that he had not even been inside the fortress, only running food back and forth to the outdoor stockpile and sleeping out amongst the trees. His only true friend was his wardog, who helped him hunt and fend off larger predators.

I had expected Nil Bastionhall to be struck down instantly, or at very best run to the fortress before being torn down by goblin bolts. What did happen, however, was quite outside the norm. His wardog charged into the goblin horde, and was regrettably torn apart instantly. Nil, seeing this, began firing bolt after bone-crafted bolt into the approaching green mass. After taking down no less than seven, thinning the crowd, his ammunition ran out and the crowd swarmed him.

This, I predicted, was the true end of Nil Bastionhall.

But was Nil Bastionhall content with only taking down a third of the swarm? Happy with being kicked to death by little green midgets threatening his hunting ground? No - Nil decided to continue to mercilessly beat the everloving shit out of every goblin within arm's reach, using his crossbow as a hammer. After four more kills at the hands of this crazed hunter, the horde shat a collective brick and ran back to their encampment, fleeing, just as the military showed up and torn down a few others.

Nil was not in a good shape. His legs were crippled, and he had fairly serious injuries all over. Did Nil wait for the military hands to help him back to the infirmary? No - he tried to drag his bloodied, beaten body to a decent resting place, getting a decent distance until the medics came and helped him along.

He was placed in a bed in the barracks, where he then lapsed into a coma.

For two years, Nil Bastionhall lay in a coma. The two years passed quite uneventfully. The defences were finished, and another goblin attempt was held off easily. The military was up and running, and during a sparring incident two recruits were gravely injured - One was placed in the infirmary with Nil Bastionhall and the other was killed outright. During the wounded recruit's recovery he snapped - the crippling injuries, grave depression from taking a friend's life, and the complete lack of alcohol pushed him over the edge. "Recruit has gone berserk!"

I quickly scrolled over to the barrack, but the next message displayed was "recruit was struck down". I wondered what happened - as far as I knew there was no guards stationed on the area.


Nil Fucking Bastionhall, decided that now of all times was a good time to make a recovery from his coma. And for two years, he had clutched in his grip his iron crossbow, and when he awoke to the ruckus he, with a single bolt, slew his full-plate covered opponent. He then walked down the hallway on his own volition searching for something to drink.

He says he likes aluminum. I am in the process of crafting his a solid aluminum room, with aluminum fixtures and furniture and an aluminium plated crossbow, along with a tomb coming off the back for both him and his wardog, side by side.